Humor: Questions for flatting

If you’re a geek looking for a flat, your needs probably differ from other members of the general population. The problem is remembering all the requirements that you need to ask about. So I’ve compiled a list of every important question to ask, and provided you with a form letter to use:

Dear potential flatmates,

I am interested in your listing, but have a few questions:

  • You mention that internet access is provided – What is the bandwidth, assigned data cap, average latency and media type (ADSL, cable, GSM, etc). What do you have as a backup link?
  • How many static IP addresses are available?
  • Does your router run some kind of OSS operating system?
  • Does your switch support vlans and is there a secondary switch for network redundancy?
  • Is cat5 or cat6 ethernet cabling in use, and are all cable runs < 100 meters?
  • Do you provide 802.11b, 802.11g, 802.11n or 802.11a? If so, what encryption type are you using? WPA, WEP or none? If using WPA, are you using TKIP or AES cyphers, and is it a hex or ASCI passphrase?

— $yournamehere

If any of these questions can not be answered, then your flatmates are clearly n00bs and not suitable for you to grace them with your l33tness. So try somewhere else, unless there is an attractive single member of the opposite sex. ;-)

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